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Happy Friday. Tom Kim just put Tiger Woods in tears with the most embarrassing celebration fail in TGL history. The young star prematurely threw his club, raised his arms, and turned to his teammates in triumph - only to realize his chip had cruelly lipped out. Tiger and Max Homa completely lost it as Kim stood frozen in mortification, with Woods later warning: "He's not going to live that one down for a very, very long time." ⬇️

If you’re new here, welcome to Bogey Bois Golf. 5 minutes of golf news that won’t put you to sleep every Monday, Wednesday, & Friday.

🔍 Today’s highlights:

• ⛳️ Xander Schauffele explains the strange excuse for how he suffered a recent injury (“I am a literal toddler”)

• 🔫 A California golfer will be going to prison for a long time after brutally killing two geese on the course (California animal cruelty laws are no joke)

• 💣 Phil Mickelson goes nuclear on Fred Couples on social media. These two have always had beef (one time, Couples even said he didn’t want to sit with Mickelson because he was too ugly)

🐝 Stinger of the Day: The Office Edition

@msjennafischer

🧠 Don’t Be Stupid

There are a lot of smart ways you can use your money. And there’s also a ton of dumb ways. Let’s take $200 for instance. Please note: $200 is more than it costs to purchase a BucketGolf set (the sponsor of this newsletter). I know we are all conditioned to scroll past ads, but give us a chance here. Here are 3 dumber ways to spend $200.

• Put $200 on one spin at the roulette table

• Buy 12~ish shots at the bar

• Buy a new golf driver (if you had $400 more dollars)

Don’t be dumb. Be smart. Try BucketGolf. It’s less than $200 and it’s more fun than any of the 3 options above (except maybe the shots). ⬇️

🎙️ The Starter

Last Starter: 62% of readers knew that in 2024 there were 518 million rounds of golf played. While most of us consider a 4-hour round "normal," professional speed golfer Scott Dawley just redefined fast play by shooting an astonishing 65 in just 42 minutes and 15 seconds. The U.S. Speedgolf Champion not only ran 4.2 miles while carrying just five clubs, but he shattered the previous world record while earning $800 - making his hourly rate better than most PGA Tour players. ⬇️

📰 GOLF STORIES

⛳️ How Schauffele hurt himself

Xander Schauffele just compared himself to a literal "toddler" after revealing the embarrassing cause of his rib injury. The world #3 golfer admitted his cartilage tear happened because he's helpless without his trainer: "I kept training and golfing... I'm used to having someone hold my hand." His first test back at Bay Hill this weekend involved a scenario so risky his caddie suspected they'd be heading home before finishing the first hole. ⬇️

🔫 Man kills geese while golfing

A California golfer just got arrested for one of the most disturbing animal cruelty cases ever seen on a golf course. Michael McCutcheon allegedly chased down two geese with his cart at Chaparral Country Club, struck one, beat it with his club, and then threw the still-living bird into a dumpster. If convicted under California's animal cruelty laws, he faces up to three years in prison and $20,000 in fines for his unconscionable fifth-hole rampage. ⬇️

💣 Phil Mickelson goes nuclear

Phil Mickelson just went nuclear over Fred Couples' bombshell about Brooks Koepka wanting to leave LIV Golf. Before quickly deleting the comment, Lefty called Couples' revelation a "low class jerk move" that either "damaged a relationship" or "took away Brooks' control of the timeline and narrative." Their simmering feud reaches its boiling point at next month's Masters Champions Dinner, where Couples once bragged about sitting with "the beautiful people" while deliberately avoiding Mickelson's table. ⬇️

📲 Max Homa retires from Twitter

Max Homa just declared Twitter a mental illness after ghosting the platform since early February. The six-time PGA Tour winner known for his witty social media presence had a sudden "come to Jesus moment" about the app: "It's for the sick, I was sick... I'm just trying to get healthy now." His digital detox coincides with a devastating career slump that's seen him free-fall from world #5 to #66 with consecutive missed cuts. ⬇️

Homa’s best tweets on:

• How watching women’s tennis is awkward

• The type of women you see at dive bars on a Wednesday night

• Gas station hot dogs

• Needing an STD test

• Mike Tyson trying to say ‘Mississippi’

Read them all here

🍻 THE PARKING LOT

What did an “off day” look like for Prime Tiger? ⬇️

Read:

• PGA Tour Pro reminds everyone that golf is hard with embarrassing tee shot at the Arnold Palmer Invitational

• Keegan Bradley “surprised” Netflix aired his Ryder Cup locker room jab

• Rory Mcllroy offers blunt, yet pessimistic, outlook on PGA, LIV merger

• Inside the world’s only nudist golf course, play for as little as $2.50

🎥 More Bogey Bois

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