Happy Wednesday. Rory McIlroy's Boston Common demolished Shane Lowry's The Bay 9-1 in TGL after both flew 8,000 miles from Sunday's Hero Dubai Desert Classic, with McIlroy daggers his jet-lagged buddy saying "he doesn't have his own plane" when asked about overcoming fatigue. Rory smoked a 358-yard TGL drive while Lowry looked dead on his feet as The Bay dropped to 0-2. McIlroy usually lets Lowry hitch rides "in exchange for a few bottles of wine," but they traveled separately as TGL foes. Next time, Lowry better bring plenty of vino. ⬇️

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🔍 Today’s highlights:

• ⛳️ Larry Shea from Binghamton, New York guaranteed Scottie Scheffler wouldn't win The American Express saying "if Scottie wins I will only eat Wendy's chili for a month—ZERO chance."

• 👀 Si Woo Kim congratulated Scottie Scheffler on his 20th PGA Tour win at The American Express with a hilarious robot joke: "You’re better than AI, Siri, Chat GPT."

• 🤔 Pinehurst No. 2 offered NFL pundit Kevin Clark a round if Miami won the College Football National Championship, then daggered him after the Hurricanes lost 27-21 saying they'd "still honor it, but you have to buy Curt Cignetti a beer from Pinehurst Brewing Co."

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⛳️ Betting against Scottie is a bad idea

Larry Shea from Binghamton, New York guaranteed Scottie Scheffler wouldn't win The American Express saying "if Scottie wins I will only eat Wendy's chili for a month—ZERO chance." Scheffler opened with six birdies over nine holes en route to victory, forcing Shea to honor his word eating only chili (no cheese, no crackers) until February 25. "I've been abusing my digestive tract for 50 years now, I got this," Shea admitted in a hostage-video-style post. DudeWipes checked in: "you're gonna need us." Don't bet against Scottie. ⬇️

👀 Si Woo Kim’s hilarious message to Scottie

Si Woo Kim congratulated Scottie Scheffler on his 20th PGA Tour win at The American Express with a hilarious robot joke: "You’re better than AI, Siri, Chat GPT." Kim started the final round with a one-shot lead before Scheffler rallied to win by four in his first 2026 start, with Kim fading to T6. The World No. 1 has seemed so inevitable and unflappable he resembles a golf Terminator, earning the clanker comparison from his Sunday playing partner. AI = Bad. Scottie Scheffler = Very, very good. ⬇️

🤔 Pinehurst “daggers” NFL pundit

Pinehurst No. 2 offered NFL pundit Kevin Clark a round if Miami won the College Football National Championship, then daggered him after the Hurricanes lost 27-21 saying they'd "still honor it, but you have to buy Curt Cignetti a beer from Pinehurst Brewing Co." When Clark joked about "five-putting on No. 2 after having nine 'Google Me IPAs,'" Pinehurst delivered the kill shot: "You won't need the IPAs to 5-putt on No. 2..." The screws are in. Clark gets his dream Pinehurst round anyway. We're the real losers stuck at local munys. ⬇️

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